Once Lulu was in her fabulous outfit, she walked over to the dog-length mirror to take a look. At first she barked—there was another Yorkshire terrier staring back at her! WHO WAS THIS IMPOSTOR IN HER HOME?! Even worse, she was wearing the exact same outfit! A true fashion faux paw!
Then she realized it was just her reflection. What a relief! Mirrors, thought Lulu. One day I’ll figure you out.
Ding! Lulu heard a timer go off, which could mean only one thing:
“Time for breakfast, girl!” Jasmine exclaimed.
Lulu followed Jasmine to the kitchen and delicately climbed up the tower of pink velvet pillows to take her place at the table. Today’s breakfast, for both girls, was a goat cheese tartine with poached egg. Lulu’s favorite! Jasmine adjusted their plates to get the best lighting and snapped a few Instagram photos from different angles. Lulu knew that breakfast was a very important meal, and that photography was a very important part of breakfast.
When Jasmine was finished, Lulu dug into her meal—daintily, of course, taking small, enthusiastic bites.
“Lulu, I had the most bizarre dream last night,” Jasmine said. As Jasmine chatted, Lulu remembered a dream of her own. She was completely naked in public at the dog park, and everyone was staring! She didn’t even have a bow, or a tiara, or anything! Thankfully, it had just been a dream.
“And that’s when I noticed it was me the whole time!” Jasmine finished, and Lulu realized she had zoned out and missed the whole dream. She would make sure to listen more intently next time. She knew that a good dog listens, even when her human is being a bore.
“Time to snap some pics,” said Jasmine, and Lulu struck a pose. They got some runway photos of Lulu strutting her stuff, some “Just Chillin’” photos, and, as always, some silly face photos for fun. Jasmine showed them to Lulu, and Lulu barked to pick her favorite: the one where she was wearing big, heart-shaped sunglasses and pretending to read a celebrity gossip magazine.
“Right again. This one is so good,” Jasmine agreed as she selected a filter. “What should the caption be . . . ? Ah! I know. ‘Woke up like this. Hashtag LulusPerfectLife,’” Jasmine said as she typed.
I didn’t wake up like this, though, Lulu thought. You put me in this outfit! But she didn’t protest. It was a good caption, even if it wasn’t exactly #true.
Jasmine read Lulu some of the best comments from the day before.
“‘OMG, what an adorable face!’” Jasmine read.
“More please,” Lulu said with her eyes as she nuzzled into Jasmine’s lap. Hearing from her fans made her feel special and inspired her to be the best dog she could be.
“DogGuy24 says, ‘What a floofy poof!’ He says that on every picture of you, actually. He’s kind of obsessed.”
Well, I am a floofy poof, Lulu thought. DogGuy24 isn’t wrong.
“‘I’d love to meet Lulu someday! She seems like such a good dog!’”
Wow, another smart person. One thing Lulu loved about the internet was how everyone was always so polite, thoughtful, and correct.
“Ooh! Before I forget, I should go get your special T-R-E-A-T!”
Lulu wasn’t positive, but she had a feeling those letters spelled snack! So she started wagging her tail accordingly. Jasmine came back with a treat Lulu had never seen before: a dry-looking, greenish bar with the unmistakable smell of the ocean.
“It’s an organic dehydrated seaweed bar! The company sent it free, just for you!”
Well, it doesn’t smell good, thought Lulu, but maybe it tastes good. So she took a bite.
YUCK! It did not taste good, either.
“I know it’s a little gross, babe, but we have to take one picture with it, for sponcon.”
Lulu knew that sponcon was short for sponsored content. That was when companies paid Jasmine to post pictures of Lulu using their products. Sometimes the products were fun toys and yummy treats, but sometimes, like now, they were gross and weirdly slimy.
“You know,” said Jasmine. “This treat hasn’t even been released yet. You might be the first dog to try it.”
Even though it tasted like dry, salty garbage, Lulu felt proud knowing that she was the first dog to try this particular dry, salty garbage. So, with Jasmine’s help, she pretended it looked interesting for the sake of the photo. This part of the job wasn’t always fun—pretending to like something she didn’t—but it was all part of being a Famous Personality with an Instagram Following.
“Oh my gosh,” exclaimed Jasmine. “We’ve been having so much fun getting you glammed up that I haven’t even gotten dressed.”
Jasmine unpinned her hair so that it fell around her shoulders in soft curls, and then Lulu watched as she scrambled around, looking for the perfect outfit. Jasmine’s closet was much smaller than Lulu’s, but she usually had a much harder time deciding what to wear.
She probably also wants to look glamorous and selfie-ready for the nail salon, thought Lulu. Good thinking, Jasmine!
“I have a huge audition today,” Jasmine said.
Lulu pricked her ears curiously. That’s odd, she thought. Auditions usually take a few hours. I wonder if she’ll do it before or after our pedicure.
Jasmine was an actress who went on lots of auditions, but she rarely described them as “huge.” Now she was busy explaining why this part was the “role of a lifetime” while she shimmied into a black dress, boots, and a fuzzy cardigan.
“My agent said a lot of girls are going in for the part, but I know I’d be perfect. It’s a woman who tragically dies and then comes back as a ghost! Watch this!”
Jasmine suddenly stood very still in the middle of the room. Her eyes went blank. She gripped her stomach with her hands, and started to act:
“How could you do this? How could you, Sandra?! I thought we were friends! Sandra. SANDRAAAAA!!!” She lifted her hand to her forehead, fell dramatically onto the bed, and lay there motionless, letting her tongue fall out of her mouth.
Then Jasmine sat up cheerfully and turned to Lulu. “So? What did you think? Be honest.”
But Lulu just whined, her mind still on the pedicure and how they’d probably be late if they didn’t leave soon.
“Hey! I worked really hard on that! I thought I pretty much nailed it.”
Lulu turned her head away, unimpressed.
Why does Jasmine care so much about this audition? Lulu wondered. Auditions can’t be nearly as fun as glamorous photo shoots and pedicures with me. Lulu couldn’t sassily toss her hair, but if she could have, she would have.
“Whatever,” said Jasmine. “I have a really good feeling about this audition. But hey, it means we have to reschedule our pedicures this afternoon.”
Oh no. Lulu whined again and buried her face in her paws. She had really been looking forward to their pedicure date.
“I know, I’m sorry. But you’ll be doing something just as fun!”
That’s when Lulu realized that Jasmine was grabbing her leash and her special travel bag, which could only mean one thing . . .
“Okay, girl, let’s get you over to Good Dogs!”
Lulu’s tail stiffened and dropped. She huffed. Good Dogs was the doggy day care that Jasmine’s neighbor Erin ran. It wasn’t so bad, but it was full of dogs. And Lulu didn’t really think of herself as a “dog.” She was more of a tiny fancy person with a tail and fur and, only once, fleas.
“Oh, come on,” said Jasmine. “It’ll be fine!”
Yeah, maybe if she were any other dog! But she was not—she was @LulusPerfectLife!
Grass, squirrel, tree, grass, bird! Those were just a few of the thoughts racing through King’s head as he ran through the park.
Grass, bush, bee, another dog, squirrel! More grass!
Wow, for a one-year-old puppy, I sure am good at noticing things, he thought as he tried to keep up with his owner, Erin, and his sister, Cleo, a German shepherd mix. King wasn’t sure exactly what breed he was—Erin said he was part border collie—but he knew that Cleo’s legs were twice as long as his.
So many dogs in this park, and from the smell of it, they all have butts! King mused, before getting distracted by several more smells.
What’s that smell? A spot where another dog peed? Wow! The world has so much to offer! Should I go smell it? he asked himself. Should I pee there too? No, I should keep running. But then it hit him: a smell so exciting he forgot about the pee spot.
It was the smell of HOT DOGS. There must have been a cart nearby. King had never eaten a hot dog before (they weren’t included in the strict diet Erin fed them), but now the beautiful scent of grilled meat wafted toward him and made him stop in his tracks. Where was it coming from? It must be just over—
“King! You can’t just stop moving. We’re running!” It was Cleo, who had turned around, urging King to keep up the pace.
“Sorry, I just smelled some hot dogs! Do you smell those??” King panted breathlessly.
“Those aren’t for us!”
“But they have ‘dogs’ right there in the name . . .”
“Come on, King,” Cleo said. “If you want to be a good dog in the agility contests, you need to learn to FOCUS! Stop being such an amateur.”
King knew he was acting a little scattered, but those hot dogs just smelled so amazing! He whined, and Erin tugged on his leash.
“Let’s go, King! Keep up the pace!” Erin said.
King started running again, trying to forget the salty, fatty smell of the hot dogs. He did want to be a good dog in the agility contests. He wanted to be better than last time.
“I will learn to focus,” King called to Cleo, who was several strides ahead of him. “I am a serious dog! You’ll see!”
Cleo and Erin were both older, taller, and faster than King. He had to run really fast to keep up with their pace. Boy, he thought, I’m going to collapse as soon as I get home!
King was right: He collapsed as soon as he got home. His legs were tired (from running), his tail was tired (from wagging), and his nose was tired (from smelling pee and hot dogs). He and Cleo rested under the kitchen table while Erin worked the blender.
King was starting to learn what the blender sound meant: smoothies for Erin and her boyfriend, Jin, and homemade dog food creations for King and Cleo.
By the time the blender was done whirring, King was digging into his mix of hard-boiled eggs, peas, oatmeal, and cottage cheese. It was NOT his favorite, but Erin said these breakfasts would help “maximize his potential,” and she seemed to think that was really important! It tasted VERY different from the puppy food he’d eaten at the shelter (which was dry and crunchy) and also very different from how he imagined a hot dog might taste (probably hot and delicious), but if it would make him big and strong and help him do better at his next agility competition, he wanted to eat as much of it as possible.
At the last contest, King had come in second to last, which Cleo said was not okay. In his defense, there was SO much grass to smell! He had just gotten a little distracted. Erin had told him it was fine; he’d do better next time. But King knew Erin hadn’t taken him home from the shelter to have a distracted, grass-sniffing, second-to-last dog. He wanted to make her proud!
Just as he was finishing up his breakfast, King noticed something out of the corner of his eye. It was Jin, coming downstairs with a box covered in ribbons and colorful paper. And he was walking right toward Erin!
“What is that?” wondered King. Something about the look on Jin’s face told him that it was something special. “It looks like some kind of TREAT! Is it a treat?!” King wagged his tail eagerly.
“Calm down, buddy, and don’t get any funny ideas,” Cleo responded. “It’s a gift for Erin. Today’s her birthday.”